How long will it take? Do I have to include everything? Can we just make it short and simple? Do we have to sign the wedding paperwork during the ceremony? I get asked these questions a lot by my couples.
And the answer really depends on you. What do you want to include in your wedding? Do you just want legals only? Do you want to shake up tradition? Do you want a sweet and simple ceremony or an all-out love fest?
My general guide is if you want a wedding that includes all the bells and whistles which involves the walk down the aisle, your love story told, some personal promises, a ring exchange, a kiss, signing paperwork and a declaration that you are life partners - then we are looking at around about 20 minutes all up.
After about 20 minutes, your guests will start to get a bit restless and will be looking for the bar.
Remember though that adding different things like multiple readings or poems, a song or piece of music or any symbolic rituals are all additional elements that can extend your ceremony length. That doesn’t mean you have to forgo these things or tell your bridal party to run down the aisle; it just means you need to keep these things in mind when considering the total length of your wedding ceremony.
You'll want it to go on forever, and you will feel like you've only started - because of course it's all about you - but if you are a guest and you have been seated for at least 15 minutes prior to the ceremony starting - you may feel the need for it to wrap up.
We’ve all sat through a boring presentation at work or lecture that dragged on until we could barely keep our eyes open. Don’t let that boring, long thing everyone wants to leave be your wedding ceremony!
Consider your guests' comfort. If your ceremony extends beyond 45 minutes, they might become restless. They may need a wee break, want to have a drink, or get away from the sun/wind/rain if your wedding is being held outdoors. Always have chairs if your ceremony is longer than 10 minutes, especially for nanna.
While no one wants to sit through a long ceremony, a too short ceremony isn’t a great idea either. I’ve had couples tell me, “We just want the shortest ceremony possible. We want to exchange rings, kiss and then get to the party!” And while I'm never one to stand in the way of a good party, you might want to rethink a short ceremony.
When your ceremony is too short, it can be confusing to guests. They’ll think, “Wait, was that it?” and wonder why you even bothered to have a ceremony and invite them to attend. Your guests
have gone to some effort to get to your wedding and most guests actually love attending a meaningful and appropriately long ceremony.
More significantly, hurrying through your wedding ceremony means missing the most crucial moment of your wedding day. While the reception promises plenty of fun with food, drinking and dancing, it's the ceremony that truly holds importance.
Your ceremony is when you and your partner make your commitment to one another. It’s where you stand up in front of all of your friends and family and say, “I love this person, and I want to spend my life with them.” Now that’s worth celebrating!
You deserve a real moment to recognize and celebrate your love, not a rushed ceremony you’re trying to get through as quickly as possible.
This is your goldilocks moment - and you want it to be just right. Let me help you plan your perfect wedding ceremony.
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